Playlist Book Tag

Hello everybody!

For today’s post, I wanted to share my love for music with you all. I thought that there wasn’t a better way to do that than to do the original playlist book tag (where the rules are that you put your music on shuffle and choose a book that you find fits which song plays). Without further ado, let’s get on with the tag!

1. YOUTH by Troye Sivan

I chose Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell for this song because they both hold a lot of nostalgia for me. When I first read Fangirl, I remember connecting with Cath as a character in a way I hadn’t been touched by a story in a long time; similarly, when I listened to Troye Sivan’s first album Blue Neighborhood all the way through for the first time, I was just in awe of how much love he poured into his music. Also, one of my first thoughts as I connected YOUTH to Fangirl was how I bet Cath would have an epic dance party to this song, so it was after that that I had to pair these two together!

2. iRobot by Jon Bellion

As I was paying attention to the lyrics in this song, what I immediately thought of was how in Sadie by Courtney Summers, the love Sadie has for her sister is addressed throughout the book. Mattie was her entire world and with her passing, Sadie goes on to find the person responsible because that’s the lengths she’s willing to go for the person she loved more than anyone else.

3. 6/10 by dodie

I think both Every Last Word by Tamara Ireland Stone and 6/10 by dodie convey that feeling of needing to hide your imperfections and constantly being ‘on’ for the sake of other people very well. Sam doesn’t want anyone at her school to know she has OCD; so she works to maintain her place in the popular friend group, this way no one can suspect a thing. This can’t last forever though, and I feel that Sam could appreciate this song when she begins to see that.

4. Live Like Legends by Ruelle

If you have read Vicious by V.E. Schwab, please give this song a listen and realize (like I did when it started to play!) how perfect these two go together. I really don’t want to give spoilers in case you haven’t read this yet, but what I will say is that Victor and Eli as characters have quite the power in drawing you in to want to know more about them.

I hope you all enjoyed getting a look at some of the music I listen to, and maybe found a book you’d be interested in picking up along the way! Thank you so much for reading, and let me know: if you had to pick a song to go along with your current read, what would your choice be?

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February 2019 TBR

Hello everybody!

I’m a little hesitant about this post. I haven’t had a great record with keeping up with TBRs because quite frankly, I’m very much so a mood reader. Nonetheless, I wanted to try my hand at having a TBR and giving myself the opportunity to reflect on how my reading was come the end of February.

Without further ado, here are three books I’d like to have read by the end of this month.

1. The Astonishing Color of After by Emily X. R. Pan

I honestly can’t remember how or when I heard about this book, but it seems like a story I’ve been wanting to read for ages now. I’m not going to lie, I am a bit nervous about how lengthy this appears but based on the countless wonderful things I’ve heard about The Astonishing Color of After and the amount of time I’ve been interested in reading this, I’m hopeful that the time I will have in my reading experience with this story will be well spent.

2. The Rest of Us Just Live Here by Patrick Ness

I am a sucker for anything involving superheroes, yet this book focuses on the exact opposite (characters in those type of worlds that aren’t in the spotlight due to having superpowers/special abilities). I’ve been interested in this story for so long, and when it was a choice in a giveaway on bookstagram (that I somehow managed to win?), I knew that The Rest of Us Just Live Here was going to be what I chose. I’ve also been interested in many of the books written by Patrick Ness and I’m excited to see what I think of his writing style as well as his way of creating characters.

3. Meet the Sky by McCall Hoyle

Here is another book I was fortunate enough to receive in a giveaway that I just haven’t gotten around to reading yet. I’m really looking forward to seeing what this book has in store! Something I’ve noticed about myself since I regained my love for reading (around the past year I’d say if you’re interested in a particular time frame) is that I really appreciate when sibling relationships are discussed; I know that the main character in this book has a sister, so I’m curious to see how the author will explore their relationship.

If you’re the type of reader who likes to have a monthly TBR, let me know a book or two you’re hoping to have read by the end of this month. I’m always interested in seeing what other people are hoping to read!

I’m Disabled, and I’m Okay with That

Hi everyone!

Today’s post is greatly inspired by Adrianna and one of the first posts of hers that I ever read. (which you can read here.) You see, she and I have something in common and that’s what I want to share with you all here.

Like Adrianna, I have cerebral palsy. This was something I was born with, and in my case, causes certain muscles in my legs and feet (Even though I’ve always had cerebral palsy, I don’t know the exact technical terms!) to be quite tight, my balance is also affected, and I tend to walk slower than the average person (and can grow tired easily). According to what my parents have always told me, I have a slight case of cerebral palsy and to be honest with you all, I’ve only recently grown to be “accepting” of this. Let me explain.

From the ages of three to the point where I was in eighth grade, I had regular physical therapy during school. I’m going to be honest, looking back, I didn’t take the sessions I had over the years as seriously as I should have. More often than not though, the sessions I had with my physical therapist was during the time frame of which the rest of my peers were in class, learning material and here I was, doing stretches and exercises to try and relieve that tightness (which at the time helped, but realistically could only do so much).

I didn’t like missing class, or the fact that my peers would notice and start to ask questions. (Like who my physical therapist was and why I was taken out of class in the first place.) I never felt comfortable telling people that I have cerebral palsy; I was always in one way or another aware of the fact that I stood out. I was always far behind the rest of my classmates when we’d have to line up (an example being when we had fire drills) and the way I walk is different (the best way I can think to describe it is appears like I’m limping).

Now I’d like to jump to what really made me think about my disability in a different light. I’ve been known to be clumsy because if I get in a hurry or try to match the pace of people I’m around, sometimes it’ll cause me to fall. I had an occasion recently where this happened (and I was fine, don’t worry!) and because this hadn’t occurred for some time, it got me thinking.

Why had I fallen?

Why did I feel embarrassed?

How would I have felt if I was in someone else’s shoes and I saw this happen?

1. I fell because I was trying to catch up with my family; I didn’t want to fall behind.

2. Strangers had seen me fall, and someone I didn’t know had to help me up because I couldn’t get back up on my own.

3. I would’ve tried to help them in some way.

People aren’t always going to see something about yourself the way you do. In the time frame I was embarrassed and wanting nothing more to get out of the place I fell, the stranger that helped me up was doing something nice for someone they didn’t know. I don’t know if that stranger will ever see this post, but by some chance of the universe they do, I want to sincerely thank you for helping me in more ways than one.

I know this post was different in terms of what kind of content I share on this blog, but it’s something that’s been on my mind for a while and I wanted to share it with you all.

Thank you all so much for reading! ❤️

Review | Our Year of Maybe by Rachel Lynn Solomon

Hi everybody!

I was fortunate enough to receive an arc of Our Year of Maybe by Rachel Lynn Solomon and I’ve been thinking about this book ever since I finished reading it. (The book’s official release date is January 15th, 2019 and I’m so excited that it’s so soon!!)

There were two things about this book that I greatly appreciated. The first being how Rachel covers people’s growth and no matter how long you’ve known each other, things between them can change. At first, I was really hoping Sophie and Peter would be able to easily return to a sense of normalcy after undergoing the kidney transplant. As the book goes on though, you really get to see how complex their relationship is and you realize things for them aren’t going to be that easy. As someone who has had struggles in terms of friendships, I was quite touched by how well Rachel was able to capture the depths within Sophie and Peter’s friendship and how much they develop as individuals throughout the story.

The other aspect in Our Year of Maybe that I enjoyed beyond belief was Rachel’s way of storytelling. As I was reading, I truly felt as if I was in Sophie or Peter’s head (the book is told through both of their points of view) and understood them as they were going through their lives, discovering who they were, and what exactly it was they wanted.

I can not wait to see what works Rachel is going to create in the future, and I honestly can’t thank her enough for writing Our Year of Maybe and helping me feel understood on so many levels.

Ten of My Favorite Reads in 2018

Hi everybody!

As this year is dwindling down, something I wanted to share with you all is ten of the books I read during 2018 that I absolutely loved. With the fact that (at the time of writing this post) I’ve read 62 books, the amount of books I loved was hard to narrow down to make a top ten, so please know there were so many stories I enjoyed wholeheartedly this year. These are in no particular order, and I will be trying my best to not include spoilers for these books. (Though if you feel I may have given too much information for a particular read, please let me know so I can let future readers of this post be aware of it!)

1. We Are the Ants by Shaun David Hutchinson

What honestly blows my mind is that I read this book before I began my blog or my bookstagram. I think about how I felt while reading We Are the Ants often; I was so engrossed in how well written these characters were and how raw their emotions felt to me as the book carried on. I am thinking about rereading this in 2019 (because it’s been nearly a year now since I picked We Are the Ants up for the first time? That’s crazy to me!) and I’m curious to see if my reading experience will change.

2. Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng

The pure emotion poured into this story made my chest ache by the time I finished reading this book. (Which didn’t happen often during my reading experiences in 2018!) I was hit in an unexpected way by how Lydia’s family struggles to accept her death. These characters felt so real and vivid that I truly didn’t know what to do with myself when I reached the last page.

3. Blanca & Roja by Anna-Marie McLemore

This book is absolutely breathtaking. From the magical writing style to the eloquent way of depicting her characters, I am eager to pick up more of Anna-Marie’s stories in 2019. I really appreciated how the sister relationship was written (as well as the friendship between Page and Barclay; I would’ve loved to learn more about them but I completely understand that this was Blanca and Roja’s story!) and just found myself practically whisked away into each character’s head and understanding their point of view so well.

4. Rayne and Delilah’s Midnite Matinee by Jeff Zentner

I don’t think there’s anyone (at least that I know of!) that’s more excited for this book’s official release (February of 2019!) than I am! I was fortunate enough to receive an early copy of this story in August of this year and I haven’t stopped thinking about this book since I finished reading it. (If you’d like to have a greater depth into why I love this story to pieces you can read my review here.) I will say though that I found the friendship so well written and I can tell this is a book I can see myself rereading for years to come.

5. Far from the Tree by Robin Benway

I remember immediately falling in love with Robin’s way of storytelling. The sibling dynamics within this book were beautifully done and there were so many quotes that tugged on my heart strings and left me thinking about them long after I finished reading.

6. Every Last Word by Tamara Ireland Stone

This was hands down one of my all time favorite books I read during 2018. I related to the main character (Sam) in many ways, and found getting to see a glimpse into the Poet’s world with their poetry absolutely inspiring and beautiful. I love Tamara as an author and can’t wait to read the works she will release in the future.

7. Lemon Acuarelas by Cheyenne Raine

This poetry collection made my heart so warm. As I was reading, I felt as if I was having the beginning conversations with someone who would grow to become my best friend. Cheyenne discusses so many subjects (such as her faith, how it feels to be deeply in love, and her culture) and has such a magical way with words; I can’t recommend reading her work enough to you all because I truly feel there is something in what she’s written that you can relate to.

8. Our Year of Maybe by Rachel Lynn Solomon

This is another upcoming 2019 release that I’m beyond excited to see be out into the world. This book took a route I honestly wasn’t expecting and it was such a pleasant surprise as I continued reading. There were tears on my cheeks when I finished reading this story because I was so touched by Rachel’s way of storytelling. I wanted nothing more than to give Rachel a warm hug and thank her for writing this wonderful book. Please, if you able to do so, do yourself a huge favor and give this book some much deserved love when it’s released in January!

9. Renegades by Marissa Meyer

I’ve loved media containing superpowers for as long as I can remember (from tv shows like Danny Phantom, Teen Titans, the Flash and so many more!), so when I heard about Renegades by Marissa Meyer, it wasn’t long after that I had this book in my possession. I loved how in this story you really get to understand both sides (that being the worlds of the heroes and villains) and see how they collide. The characters were so well written and the powers given to each of the characters I found really interesting. I haven’t picked up the second book in this series just yet (Archenemies!) but I’m excited to see how this world will be expanded and how the characters will grow.

10. This Savage Song by Victoria Schwab

This book honestly left me speechless when I finished reading it. I absolutely loved August Flynn (he’s definitely up there in terms of my favorite book characters!) and found the overall story to be intriguing to the point where I was eager to get to know what was going to happen next. I hope to get Our Dark Duet sometime in 2019 (because the way this book ended left me at a loss for what to do!)

This list was so hard to compile and there are so many books that I loved in 2018 (I have a Goodreads shelf for my favorite read that includes 30 books as I’m writing this post!) and I hope you all were able to find a book in this post that sounds interesting to you or a book you’ve already picked up and wanted to find someone to share your love for with (I’m so open to talking about my favorite books; you can send me a dm on my Twitter or my bookstagram and I will happily gush away with you!)

Why You Should Keep Everything You Write

Hello everyone!

What brought the idea for this post into my mind came in an unexpected way. This year, I have been trying my hardest to write stories like I did with glee once upon a time. However, every time I would have inspiration strike, somewhere along the way that spark would fizzle out. My former approach to storytelling wasn’t working out for my present self, and the thing that inspired me to write this blog post was what made me realize this.

Fun fact (that I’m honestly surprised I’m sharing with you all, considering how much I tried to keep it to myself growing up!): I used to write fanfiction. For some reason, I remembered I have a document saved on my laptop of a complete story I wrote back when I was around fifteen or sixteen for a show I thought could’ve taken a completely different route at the very start. (Which you all won’t be able to find I’m afraid seeing as at some point I recall deleting it from the website I posted the story on, sorry!)

As I was reading these words a past version of myself carefully wrote, it was like I was taken back in time. I remember feeling so proud over the fact that I was able to conclude the story I had in the head and to be perfectly honest with you all, how I would nervously write messages at the end of some chapters saying how I wasn’t sure what I had to share was good enough.

These are feelings I’ve been experiencing all over again. The difference between these versions of myself is that despite the uncertainty in how great my writing was, my past self still managed to find a path to follow and kept moving forward in that story.

I don’t know when (or even if!) I would’ve recognized that my approach wasn’t working had I not stumbled upon this fanfiction I wrote years ago. Something I am going to try my best to keep in mind from now on is that while I may be unsure of how great my writing is, it is worth keeping in case I am able to use it in the future.

Thank you all so much for reading, and I would love to know a piece of advice (writing or just general; it’s up to you!) you’d give to your past or future self.

Dear Evan Hansen Book Tag

Hi everybody!

As I am currently reading the Dear Evan Hansen novel, I’ve had this world on my mind for a while. When I seen that Snowandbooks created a tag, it seemed like a perfect fit!

This tag may contain spoilers for Dear Evan Hansen if you’re unfamiliar with the musical/overall story!

Anybody Have a Map? – a character who is lost (emotionally or literally)

Joaquin from Far from the Tree by Robin Benway. Seeing as he’s in the foster care system, Joaquin doesn’t really have a sense of who he is or where he necessarily came from and in the story Robin showcases that sense of being lost in who he is very well.

Waving Through a Window – a character with social anxiety

I’m going to change this up a bit and tell you all about Moss from Anger is a Gift by Mark Oshiro (he has general anxiety and has experience with panic attacks, not social anxiety!). This is quite a heavy read and I absolutely felt for Moss as a character by having similar feelings with my own anxiety. If you are in a place where you feel comfortable reading about such matters, I truly can’t recommend reading this book enough.

For Forever – a character with a best friend/best friends

Cassa, Evander, Alys, and Newt from Beneath the Citadel by Destiny Soria. Honestly, this book has one of my favorite friendship groups. I go in more detail about my feelings with this book here if you’d like to read it but just know that their dynamic was so well written!

Sincerely, Me – a character who writes letters/diary entries

The character that immediately came to my mind was Charlie from the Perks of being a Wallflower. Just in case you haven’t read or heard of this book, all I will say is that the format this story is written in the form of letters that come from Charlie as he’s going through his first year of high school. I absolutely loved this book when I read it and would recommend checking it out if you haven’t read the book!

Requiem – a character you didn’t mourn

Joshua Raines’s grandfather in Glass Town by Steven Savile. From what I can recall from my reading experience at the start of this year, I believe there wasn’t too much said about him as a character besides the main aspects that are necessary to know for the sake of the book’s plot.

If I Could Tell Her – a character who took forever to confess their love

All I can think of is Simon Snow in regards to his feelings towards Baz in Carry On. Not only does he take some time to recognize that he has feelings for Baz, but Simon also has to realize that he and Agatha really aren’t the couple everyone expects them to be.

Disappear – a character who didn’t make the film adaption

Even though I haven’t seen the movie yet (I really want to but haven’t had the chance to!) Simon’s older sister isn’t included in Love, Simon. (Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure about this!)

You Will Be Found – a character who wasn’t there for most of the book and came out of nowhere

As much as I’ve tried to think of a character for this, my mind is drawing up blank! (If at a later time a character comes to mind, I will try my best to adjust this post accordingly!)

To Break in a Glove – a character with a good father figure/close with their dad

Cath from Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell. I remember being reminded of my own relationship with my dad at times while reading this book, and honestly as I’m writing this all that’s coming to mind is how I should give this story a reread!

Only Us – a character with a love triangle

I’m going with a classic for this one: Katniss from the Hunger Games series. It’s been a little while since I read these books, but I remember really enjoying them.

Good For You – a character who made a bad decision

Margo in Paper Towns by John Green. As much as I understand her wanting to figure out who she is as a person by running away, it wasn’t the best of choices to make.

Words Fail – a book that left you a sobbing mess

I will say that a few tears were shed once I finished reading Our Year of Maybe by Rachel Lynn Solomon. Since this book isn’t going to put into the world until January of 2019, I’m not going to go into too much detail about why I had this reaction. However, I want to express how much I adored this story and want you all to know how well these characters were written. Please. Pick. Up. This. Book!

So Big/ So Small – a character whose parents are divorced

I was getting frustrated at one point because I couldn’t think of a character whose parents were divorced for the life of me. Eventually though, I was able to recall that Finch’s (from All The Bright Places by Jennifer Niven) parents weren’t together.

Finale – a book that came together beautifully at the end

Every Last Word by Tamara Ireland Stone. One of my favorite reads I’ve picked up during 2018 to be perfectly honest with you all. I honestly can’t praise this story enough, I was so touched by it and found quite a few things within its pages impactful (you can read about four things in particular in this post that began my Power in Words series!)

BONUS: In the bedroom down the hall – a character that took good care of their crew/child/gang

Simon Spier (from Simon Vs the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli) is honestly the kind of friend I would’ve loved to have in high school. He’s just such a kind person who I have so much appreciation for.

2018 in Review: Rediscovering the Magic in Books

Hello everybody!

2018 is reaching its end and I honestly can’t believe it. I first want to say thank you to every single person who has been here and on any other social media platform with me this year; I’ve loved sharing all things bookish (and more!) with you and can’t wait to see what this next year has in store.

I’ve been thinking for a little while how I wanted to reflect on my feelings with this year as a whole, and I believe I found just what I’d like to share with you all. Sometime in November of 2017, I discovered Goodreads. I can’t remember how or what I was looking for, but as I was entering in the few books I’d read recently I remember thinking back to how my childhood self practically devoured stories. With this in mind, at the start of 2018 something I wanted to do was read more. I set the blind goal of reading 20 books by the end of 2018 and I’m happy to say that I passed that initial target by (as I’m writing this post!) reading a total of 62 books.

I also found new outlets to share my love for stories this year. I believe I created this very blog first (but didn’t actually begin creating content for a few months due to not knowing what exactly I wanted to share!) and soon after went on to make a bookstagram account (which is an Instagram account that focuses on sharing book related content!). I’m amazed to see how much these platforms of mine have grown and again, I can’t thank you all enough for being here!

I know this year wasn’t a easy one (at least, for me personally it wasn’t!) but I hope with my little corner of the internet you’ve had a space where you can remember the magic that stories can carry.

I hope to make a post sharing some of the goals I have in mind for 2019 closer to the New Year, but I’m curious: do you all have any goals (they don’t have to be book related!) for this upcoming year? I’d love for you to leave a comment and let me know!

Avatar: The Last Airbender Book Tag

Hi everyone!

I seen that romiewedeservelove recently did this tag and as I’m also a fan of Avatar: The Last Airbender, I thought I’d join in as well!

Water

Katara & Sokka: best sibling relationship

There were quite a few wonderful sibling relationships in the books I’ve read so far this year, but one that really stood out in my eyes is the dynamics between Grace, Maya, and Joaquin in Far from the Tree by Robin Benway. What was special to me about this book is that it deals with adoption and you really get to see the growth between the three siblings as they get to know and understand one another.

Yue: favorite star crossed lovers

The book that kept popping up in my mind when it came to this was Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell. The growth you see unfold in their relationship was absolutely beautiful and (no spoilers!) but I will say things don’t exactly work out in their favor by the end of the story.

Blood Bending: a book with a disturbing/unsettling concept

I have to go with This is Where it Ends by Marieke Nijkamp. This book revolves around the events that occur during a school shooting and I remember how heavy this book felt to me when I read it back in August of this year. While the subject matter does deal with unsettling/heavy content, I found it was important to address this kind of content (though if you’re thinking of picking this book up for yourself, I would think about if you will be comfortable with the subject matter first!).

Earth

Toph: a character who’s strength surprised you or surprised the other characters in the book

Stella from Imagine Us Happy by Jennifer Yu was the character that almost immediately came to mind for me. I really appreciated seeing how strong of a character she was in understanding that she was a part of a toxic relationship and being able to step away from it. (If you’re interested in hearing more about the book, I wrote a review you can read here!)

The Tales of Ba Sing Se: best short story/poetry collection

Lemon Acuarelas by Cheyenne Raine holds a special place in my heart, so this was the perfect way to share how much I enjoyed this poetry collection. I read this back in October (and you can read the review I wrote for the collection here if you’d like to read more about the collection itself and hear more of my overall thoughts!) and I am so excited for the works Cheyenne will release in the future!

Kyoshi Warriors: best warrior character

Alright, are you all ready to hear about one of my favorite books of 2018? Beneath the Citadel by Destiny Soria deals with this group of friends who are fighting back against the high council of their city Eldra. With a prophecy that they need to uncover that could be the end of their city or even themselves, this young adult fantasy had me wondering what in the world was going to happen next. Going back to the original question though, the best warrior character in my eyes is Cassa. She is the orphaned daughter of rebels and she works her absolute butt off to prove herself to be worthy of being left the legacy of the work done by her parents. I admired how well written her character was and I honestly can’t recommend picking this book up enough!

Fire

Zuko: best reception arc or a reception arc that should have happened

Honestly, the only character that is coming to mind for me is Draco from the Harry Potter series. (Even though I haven’t finished reading the series yet…shhh!) I’m blown away by the fact that J.K. Rowling can’t see that he was just a kid that was doing what was expected of him (from his parents because that was what they saw as necessary to survive) and that he could’ve had the opportunity to grow to become such a stronger character that would see the error of his ways.

Iroh: wisest character

I thought about this one for a while and the character I ultimately decided on was Adrian from Renegades by Marissa Meyer. I may be taking this in a different route than originally intended, but I see Adrian as someone who could be in Ravenclaw because he’s a creative person and he’s using his abilities in a way that if you think about it can be thought of as methodical in how he’s willing to do whatever it takes to see if an idea he has can be brought into reality.

Azula: best downfall

Honestly, the Mage from Carry On by Rainbow Rowell. No spoilers in case you would like to give this story a read yourself, but with everything Simon Snow went through, I can’t believe how the Mage saw him when he (Simon) was willing to give everything up if he just asked for it.

Air

Appa: favorite fictional animal/pet

Festus the Dragon from The Lost Hero (the first book in the Hero of Olympus series) by Rick Riordan. I just really love how close Leo is with Festus and how you really get to see how much he cares about him.

Aang: the purest cinnamon roll

Hands down this goes to August Flynn from This Savage Song (also known as the first book in the Monsters of Verity duology) by Victoria Schwab. August just wants to prove himself to his family and I absolutely adored him as a character. I wanted to give him a hug so many times throughout reading This Savage Song. I can’t recommend picking this book up enough, it’s so well written!

Avatar state: a stubborn character or a character who struggles with letting go

Cath from Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell. Cath really struggles with her sister wanting to drift away from being known as a “twin” and wants the ability to grow to become her own person. While she does grow as a person herself, Cath was really nervous to not have the one person who’s always been right by her side there for her 24/7 anymore.

If any of you all would like to do this tag yourself, take this as you being tagged by me! I hope you all enjoyed this post and let me know any thoughts and feelings you have about Avatar: the Last Airbender or even my answers to each of these categories.

Updates with Kimberly | NaNoWriMo & Learning to Accept Change

Hi everyone!

I found an update post was necessary because since I wrote my last one, things have changed a bit for me. The first thing I want to address is the fact that I’ve had a shift in terms of my anxiety. Just in case you haven’t read that last update blog post I wrote, I shared that I was looking forward to going to two concerts for artists I absolutely love. To put things simply, due to my anxiety I ultimately didn’t end up going to either of them.

I’ve had a tough time accepting the fact that I “let my anxiety win” because while I know that it was the right decision to put my well-being first, I know there have been occasions where I was able to overcome those feelings and I’ve had a sense of defeat in knowing that I wasn’t able to do that this time around.

Something else that I’ve had similar feelings towards is NaNoWriMo (which is National Novel Writing Month in case you didn’t know!). I’ve been creating stories since I was a kid and recently I felt I was gaining back that creative spark, so I thought participating was a perfect fit for me. From the start, I told myself to not put pressure on myself to write because I didn’t want to burn myself out when this was my first year taking part. As it turns out, NaNoWriMo is really hard!

My experience so far has been all over the place. I started out with a simple outline for what I wanted to write about and as I was trying to elaborate on things, new ideas for that same storyline were coming to my mind instead. I’ve had this happen at least five times now and I reached a place where I couldn’t bring myself to attempt writing when my ideas where going back and forth so often that I would end up having to start from a blank page anyway. As of when I’m writing this post, I haven’t written anything new in a few days (my motivation levels have been so low as of late) but the characters are constantly in my head so what I’m trying to do is figure my characters out first and see if that helps in my writing process.

I hope this update post was somewhat interesting for you all to read. If you’re participating in NaNoWriMo, what is your WIP about? (if you feel comfortable sharing!) If you’re not participating, what are you currently reading and how are you enjoying it?